Idle B'gger Cruise VIII 2010
By Anthony Davy
9th July saw the crew gather in St Peter Port for the VIIIth annual Idle B'gger Memorial Cruise. Here is the log...
Friday 9th July
Arriving IBs are introduced at the airport to the first of this year's "improvements" - the skipper's lithe, feline taxi which wafts occupants around the island in cosseted luxury. Has 35mph ever felt so satisfying? So to Forest Stores where ATD, not wishing to repeat the shame of IB VII, confesses that his capacity for porcine consumption has significantly diminished. This painful admission appears to have no measurable impact on the quantities of pork products packed away in preparation for "death by" à la Calvers. On to Saint Peter Port where JW drops off ATD and IC to negotiate the transfer of luggage etc out to tacKtic on the pontoon in the dinghy aided by improvement #2, a new outboard! JW returns with AB whereupon the reunited crew are thrilled by improvement #3 a new boom cover, #4 a new main sail, #5 a new spinnaker (too good for IB use!), #6 a spinnaker snuffer (a thoughtful touch now the IBs are getting on) and #7 a genoa sock (an initiative test) - clearly it's been a good year!
Leave SPP at 13.30 in light wind (F1) so slow progress towards Jersey. AD emerges from the companion way into the unexpected trajectory of the boom mid-gybe. Fortunately head and boom both survive as the wind is so light there's no anger in the contretemps. The IBs try the spinnaker but lack of familiarity with the new snuffer and wind means nothing flies. Persist under sail until 16.30 then resort to the engine as pushing the tide and need to reach St Helier by 19.00 to get into the marina. St H marina full with visiting racing Frenchies so tacKtic slotted expertly into a local's berth. Of course JW, master networker, just happens to know the local so a quick call confirms the IBs do not have to move, G&Ts all around. Dinner at Rosa's a foregone conclusion and very jolly too! Much IB admiration for the delightful waitress and resultant witty repartee. And so to bed....
Saturday 10th July
IBs emerge in time to leave berth and exit the marina by 08.00. Pick up buoy for ritual sacrifice and discussion on destination. Agree on Paimpol, so slip buoy at 09.22 and head west along south coast before turning south west for France. Sunny weather and much wide-ranging yet well-informed IB banter are the only consolations for lack of wind as whole day passes to the throb of the motor. Somewhat surprised, the IBs arrive 15.45 off Île-de-Bréhat and promptly perform a u-turn to disguise a rare navigational error to head SSE to Paimpol. Arrive 16.30 relieved to find the lock on free flow but the town very busy as hosting a folk festival. Berth roadside rather than in marina (after being directed by a delicious harbour maid) and start planning the evening's entertainment. Dinner in the square at Ty Krampouz, usual IB dolly spotting and eventually end up in the folk marquee to bob along to some quite respectable live music, a French fusion of Santana and Jethro Tull with enthusiastic flautist and flamboyant bongo basher. The festival prompts an outbreak of Kevin-speak adopted and maintained by the IBs. Woteva ain't nothink to do wiv AD slakin back at uni. Stroll back to tacKtic via the beer tent to retire at 00.00 (BST of course!).
Sunday 11th July
Through the Paimpol lock at 08.30 and motor towards Île-de-Bréhat on slightly dodgy route as skipper misses channel. 08.50 drop anchor (still liking motorised improvement from IB VI) and settle in for Sunday morning chill. IB banter results in a new contribution to the development of the English language:
calver, verb trans., 1 to undertake something dubious 2 (reflective) to undertake something dubious against oneself.
Discussion about the desirability of a cockpit LCD screen as a future improvement voted down when it is realised this would interfere with the classic IB seat.
Weigh anchor 12.20 and head SSE to Binic. F2 NW so up goes the kite for a glorious gentle sail with IC flying single handed whilst the others doze some more (well skipper fidgets about a bit). Conditions are so lovely the boys put in an extra run for the shear pleasure. 16.45 arrive Binic and wait until 17.10 to enter harbour. Skipper displays unusually imprecise parking skills as we come along side the harbour wall to take on water. He must have been spooked by the spectators or maybe he's distracted by the blocked heads which cause some distress and speculation as to cause; IC high protein v AD high fibre. Eventually AB proves the hero with a deft repair of faulty mechanics.
IBs not too enamoured by Binic. Dinner at Nord-Sud restaurant and drinks at Bar Surcouf watching music videos. Retire at 23.30 BST as earlyish start to catch the tide.
Monday 12th July
AD embarks on a morning shopping sortie to secure some French goodies at the local supermarket. 08.30 departure in rain with no wind, destination Jersey, so motor NW and have "breakfast to go". Crossing not exciting but porpoise briefly sighted at 09.30. Weather starts to brighten up but still overcast at 11.30. Celebrations at 13.25 and 36 miles as up goes the main and the engine is finally silenced (Wind F2/3 NW). 16.15 turn east along south coast and up goes the spinnaker (they're mastering the snuffer by now). Good progress so the boys put in an extra beat and run to have some fun whilst waiting to get in to St Helier Marina. With AB in charge, the diesel is replenished at 17.00 and after queuing tacKtic moors again in the same local berth at 17.30. Rainy cocktails on board and with the rain becoming harder it is decided to return to Rosa in the market for further lusting (from afar of course) and a dinner of excess and great jollity.
Tuesday 13th July
Somewhat liverish the IBs depart from Jersey at 09.00 in southerly F3 and have another "breakfast to go". As always IC administers expertly to the IBs' dietary foibles and proves himself the master of fridge management. Spinnaker up round La Corbière and a really lovely sail to Sark. Arrive west side at 13.00 and pick up a buoy at Harve Gosselin, where the IBs partake of the most dangerous manoeuvre of the trip by rowing ashore together in the dinghy. Who says 400kgs into 2.5m won't go? Walk up the cliff and into town for a homespun lunch at AJ Cafe. This is AD's first trip to Sark and he is suitably charmed by the time travel.
Depart Sark 16.00 in SW F3/4 and enjoy a rapid reach to Guernsey. SPP full of visiting Tour des Ports competitors so IBs decide to pick up the waiting buoy outside QEII marina at 17.10 and start the ritual scrub of tacKtic. 18.15 moored back in home berth in QEII marina.
The evening passes in the company of the lovely Sally who joins us for the last supper at Absolute End.
Wednesday 14th July
AB departs on an early flight home. IC and AD complete the tacKtic scrub and JW returns to pass the rest of the morning with them in SPP before wafting them back to the airport for early afternoon flights home.
IB VIII, another wonderful and much needed recreation for all. Many thanks to JW for his generous sharing of tacKtic to give us all an annual highlight. And the moral of the trip? "A busy Calvers is a happy Calvers" - yeah woteva!
